i just saw something on the net that made me regret not doing something that i should’ve done a long time ago. not knowing what’ll happen in the future sucks. if i knew that it would be anything like this, i definitely would have gone for it.

i was too scared to take that small leap for the first time in my life. i knew that chances don’t come twice. but it actually did come twice for me. and still, i didn’t have the balls to stand up for myself. damn, maybe because i was who I WAS. past-me sucked. present-me should have been there…

i realised something quite astounding as well that made me hide my face right in my palms. fate might had also taken part in the process.

there was this one time, when i was totally doubtful of passing the national ‘spmb’ exam. i almost entered some other department at a certain uni. if i had failed my spmb, then it would have been just like how i imagined it to be. but nooo. fate had its ways.

come to think of it, i passed the national exam on my own. although i remembered it correctly how ‘we’ tried so hard (in all kinds of ways) so that all of us besties could get into our desired universities. i was sitting closest to the examiner, face to face. so, damn straight i never cheated. i got into ITB because i chose to. i chose my fate.

though, i’m still imagining how my past four years would have been, if i did not make it to ITB. wow. that would have been totally something. although i’m not sure the birds will help me sing to that pretty cat, i would still try hard dancing as best as i could. hha


i’m typing silently right now. in the middle of the night. having a good time laughing at myself.

you stupid prick. why must you not choose the fate that you want most.